I think I am immobilized. No, think isn’t correct. I am immobilized.
Immobilization comes from many sources I have decided. Fear of the unknown, fear of failure. Inability to make forward progress. Mental set backs. Fear. Oh yea, I already said that. Guess fear is my most formidable foe.
So when fear strikes I notice my reaction. I find a million alternatives or distractions so as not to have to face my fear. Crazy isn’t it? I know what you’re thinking, “this is the woman who climbed all those mountains and went to the poles”, yea well that’s different.
I’m immobilized by the fear of not producing what I want to create. I want to build this amazing community for people newly diagnosed with MS and suddenly I am only hearing the negatives.
Those telling me what I am doing isn’t anything exclusive. Or the big pharmaceutical companies already have this in place. Or you have no clue how to proceed.
My days and nights are filled with business associates telling me I need to do this or do that. Call here. Write that. Contact this organization or that person. In these moments I am completely overwhelmed. So what do I do??
I shut down. Tune out and turn off. I am indeed immobilized.
So while feeling incredibly sorry for myself this morning, I took the large retriever who occupies my heart and we went to the beach. Always the perfect escape plan. And while walking the beach I overheard two women ahead of me. The only word I heard was “recalibrate.”
I started thinking about that word, recalibrate. What were they referring to? What needs recalibration? My oven thermometer? My GPS? My smart phone? What could they possibly be talking about that needed recalibration?
Recalibrate is how I climbed beyond my MS diagnosis. Recalibrate is what we need to do when faced with fear.
When we let fear take hold, don’t we all just want to lay on the couch, eat bon bons and watch Ellen?
And what do I always say? “You can visit that couch from time to time.... you just can’t stay there!” Recalibrate! How sad life would be if we were on that couch all day while life was whizzing past.
I am going to get up and off that sofa of self pity and continue on my path to form the most reliable, resourceful, and resilient community for those who have Multiple Sclerosis.
Want to join me? Share your experience ‘recalibrating’ your mindset in the comment section below. You never know who might be impacted by your story :)
